So I've been dealing with the concept of being a "professional painter", since I've sold many pieces at this point and have 7 paintings currently on sale at s.h.e. gallery in Boonton, NJ. In college I painted because I had to paint and because I love the act of painting. I did it entirely for myself and for critiques and to understand who I am. I did not do it to sell the end results. Now, I am running low on artwork that I have of my own, it feels. Which is incredibly sad. But at the same time, I adore the idea that others have pieces of my making, pieces that SO directly portray my perception of existence. That, I do like. What I don't like is now, when I continue to paint, I will be painting with this idea in the back of my head that I should be making something I will LIKE to sell, and not want to hold on to. How can I do what I have been doing, with paintings of photographs from my childhood and of my father, with the intent to sell them to another? To someone who has not felt those experiences that I've painted about? That won't work. So the question is, do I continue to do this and just sell them, do I do this and not sell them, or do I change my subject matter to not feel so guilty by letting them go for monetary value?
It feels quite awkward.
